AFRICAN STORIES

"At the point when the cassava-flour vender lost all her cassava-flour to the twist, out of sharpness she heaved curses at the wind. She never realized that the wind had utilized that cassava-flour to fill and fix the gap underneath the kayak her lone child is going over. In the event that she knew, she would have favored the twist for not giving her a chance to lose her lone child to the ocean. Each failure is a gift."  These are the expressions of my mom and I never comprehended the significance.

One night, the town-messenger passed a message from the king that each being ought to remain in before its darken. It was said that the traditional priest's will walk thorough the night taking penances and sacrifice   to each intersection where three ways meet in order to appease the spirit of the land. As the day approaches it dim, everybody rushed home. On my way home, two travellers approach me and requesting that I help them safe for the night in my house. Out of good heart and no profound idea, I gave them a space to pass the night. The obscurity ruled for quite a while and it resembled the night will never give the earth a chance to free from its hold. The morning came as regular and I ascended with the brilliant sun to check on the travellers however shockingly, they were gone. Not only that, they Run with my resources and all the cash I had put together for my adventure to the city; in an excursion with my friends, in a quest to change our lives for good. These traveling criminals stole that open chance from me. My associates headed out to the city and left me to appreciate this sharp taste of disappointment and each drop of palm-wine that stream down my throat. The calabash turned into the nearest thing to my mouth; nearer than the words I talk.

READ ALSO :-">SKIN TO SKIN

Early today, I woke up with the sun all over and my entire body overpowered with hurt. At the point when the uncoordinated but excellent chirps of the morning birds are gone, then I realize that the sun has far woken up before me. Where do I begin from? I was wounded far from the warmth of the sun just for the unappealing odor of palm-wine to hit my face. I hacked and moaned. Despondency is mine to drink, and I should drink myself into a daze. Presently I know the sky is as vacant as a crate of water. There are no gods and if there truly are, they are as inert as their dolls on earth. I got off the bed, "god kor god ni" I murmured.

I looked through my window and saw a vehicle drive in and stop some separation away. At that point, individuals rushed to it with shouts and tears. I hurried out to the scene and the ghastliness before me stopped my breath. I saw my very own friend of and other traveling villagers. They said they ran into a trailer on their way to the city four days prior. "I should've been one of them" I thought – a suspected that left me puzzled and frosty for a considerable worth of time.

Presently I comprehend the expressions of my mom. "At the point when the travellers he helped stole all his cash, he was not able go to the city with his friend. He reviled the divine beings and subjected himself to lose hope. He never realized that explorers stole from him a trip that could prompt his death. On the off chance that he knew, he would've favored the travellers and even give them more than they've stolen. My children, everything happens for a reason." These are my words to my kids now.

The thing is that, sometimes we didn’t even know what pissed my dad off. It always looked as if we were walking on eggshells throughout our childhood. Sometimes we would see him coming home and we would immediately stop whatever it was we were doing. I mean whatever we were doing. If we were playing outside we would run inside. If we were playing inside and saw him coming from one of the windows we would stop playing and sit down quietly. We didn’t get flogged for stealing or fighting each other or whatnot because we were getting flogged for things less than that like standing outside when he came in or losing a leg of slipper.

The process was always the same. Maybe we would be playing ‘castle’ in the parlour or watching cartoons. Then suddenly we would hear his keys in the lock. He always came home by 5 o’clock, an hour earlier than our mom and then leave again as soon as she returned. He would have heard the noise from the television before coming in or we wouldn’t have time to rearrange the sofas before he unlocked the door and came into the parlour. He would stare at us with blazing eyes, like we had stolen the Holy Grail itself, and then the shouting would begin. He would bellow and roar and we would be left trembling in our shorts, hoping he wouldn’t go for Mister Koboko. Sometimes he would but sometimes he wouldn’t.

On occasion however, we would do something that we knew would warrant a beating. Like falling over and breaking a vase or tipping over a bottle of wine from the bar or being outside, even if it was the backyard, when he came in. Then we would wait in the parlour, filled with dread and trepidation until he bellowed out the culprit’s name, summoning the person to his room.

Mr. Koboko was a well made horsewhip which our dad kept hanging from a nail behind his door. It was made of twisted leather with a thick head that had a hole in the middle and a twisted body that tapered down to the hard tip at the end. He would call the victim in and ask if you had eaten. That usually wasn’t a good sign of things to come as he was inadvertently asking if you were strong enough to take the beating. He would warn you that if you dodged a stroke it would be replaced by another one. Then he would choose whether to flog you on your hands or buttocks and then depending on which was chosen he would use the head or tail of the whip. And then the flogging would begin.

READ ALSO :-">COMPLICATIONS

The pain as I remember it was excruciating but it was better to bear it. If you moved around you only elicited further anger and more haphazard flogging from him. So we stayed still. We learned not to run from the whip. We were allowed to cry and we would scream our heart out but we dared not move from the spot. After it was over he would send us to our room to remain incommunicado from everyone else in the house till further notice.

Did this punishment help me and my siblings? I honestly can’t say yes to that. We grew up timid and terrified of authority. It took a number of years in the university and away from home to get over the emotional scars of this treatment. And I hope never to behave in such a way to my own kids.

THE SOCIOLOGIST’S THINKING:

Did you hear of the secondary school students who sexually assaulted their female colleague in broad day light as reported by Sahara Reporters?
Do you have a younger one, who intentionally destroys your things in the name of anger?
Does he/she go around bullying or smoking and drinking in the neighborhood?
Don’t just sit back and say “what’s this world turning to”. Stand up, find explanations and seek scientific solutions to the problem JUVENILE DELIQUECY.
Juvenile delinquency is an action that violates the law but is committed by a young person under the legal age of arrest and prosecution. Haralambos simply said they are criminal acts committed by young people, he further gave examples vandalism, stealing, physical assaults, violence, joyriding and a host of others.
WHICH CHILDREN ARE LIKELY TO BE DELIQUENTS?
The World youth report of 2003, identified parental death during armed conflicts, parental alcoholism, poverty , family break down, as pull factors to delinquency, they reported that children who have suffered from any of these are likely to be delinquent than others, so you can expect massive delinquency in the North Eastern Nigeria.


Furthermore, Micheal Shader identified certain risk factors that lead to delinquency, he firstly defined risk factors as characteristics that if present in a given individual would make it possible for such a person to have a disorder. He also warned that Risk factors doesn’t mean the individual would become delinquent it is rather a pointer that if not properly handled may become delinquent.
THE RISK FACTORS
Hyper activity and restlessness
Risk taking and daring behaviors
Love for TV violence
Low IQ
Dishonesty
WHAT’S THE EXPLANATION FOR DELIQUENCY?
Trust Scholars not be asleep on this issue, there have been series of research, explanations and theories in the field, Sociologists and Criminologists have spent a great deal of time on this.
Scholars influenced by R.K Merton believes that juvenile delinquency is a result of a strain in the societal reactions toward who they are, the strain is the difference between what the people around the child wants him to be and who he is. E.g. You may want a child who excels in schools and gather A’s on his report card but in reality the child is just someone who excels on the field of play in sports. Now, he is made to see himself as a failure and a flop in life, the difference between him being a scholar as you want and him being a sports star is called strain. According to Robert Agnew, the child needs to feel successful he meets other children, who like himself are strained, (like they say: birds of the same feather flock together) they then form a delinquent subculture (a gang), in this subculture, they develop their own norms and values which are usually everything you stand against (stealing, violence, truancy, bullying, vandalism etc) since you don’t see him as successful, he does well in the delinquent subculture in order for him to earn respect and admiration from other members of the gang, thus every delinquent behavior you see at home is a result of this i.e. the bully, stealing , vandalism etc are all responses to the search for relevance and admiration, if he is not loved, he becomes feared which either way makes him happy.

WHAT THEN CAN WE DO?
Once you notice your younger one has any of the risk factors identified by Micheal Shader or have suffered any incidents identified by World Youth Report {2003} and his displaying any delinquent act or truancy.

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Ensure a change of friends
Take him for who he is, let him enjoy what he loves doing
Reduction in the marginalization of young people (like reducing the legal age for driving)
Professional development programs should be set up for young people to provide an economic alternative
Establishment of recreational centers to provide an alternative for  physical violence


The sociologist’s thinking is a bi weekly newsletter that seeks to explain and tackle social problems and phenomena that affects you from the stand points of sociology professionals and scholars. In accordance to the ethics of social research; criticisms, suggestions and encouragements are welcomed alike and if there is any social problem you have observed in your environment and you want THE SOCIOLOGIST to explain, you may reach THE SOCIOLOGIST via the under listed means

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TILL I COME YOUR WAY NEXTWEEK, ALWAYS REMEMBER: THE SOCIOLOGIST IS ALWAYS THINKING

POEM BY ADETOUN RAJI KOLADE
it causes so much pain.
If you agree with no gain.
Many think its just a game.
Wanting nothing but wealth and fame.
It stairs up so much disturbance.
I strongly believe its due to ignorance.
For obtaining wealth it is used as leverage.
Its called child marriage.


Hmm.....what a sad story.
Filled with shame and no glory.
It's like a thief in the night.
Doing only wrong and no right.
A situation filled of heart break.
Weighing what victims has attained.
Ripping victim of their pride.
Its the humiliating child marriage.

We all need to act fast.
If we want this to be a thing of the past.
See what havoc its have wrecked.
Oh child marriage as far as I have read.
You strive so hard to ruin lives.
So ask yourself; will you ever die.
Turning a child into a Savage.
An end must be put into this bandage!!!!!.

Crush:? Prior to this articles means a feeling of infatuation with, or unrequited love of undying attraction towards a person or a specific thing. While both males and females at one time or the other find themselves caught in the Web of this mad attraction, girls generally have more pluralized reasons for developing crushes on a person. Males are generally more attracted to a girl’s physical appearance more than anything else. A guy is most likely attracted to a girl because of her looks… Great smile, big booties, colour, build etc.
However, girls have the most awkward sense of attraction. Aside from the general good taste for funny guys, pretty faced boys, tall dark and handsome guys etc… A girl could develop a crush on a guy for the weirdest reasons. Through my relations with girls overtime I have gotten familiar with the weirdest things that a girl gets attracted to…. They are as follows

1. GOOD HANDWRITING
This one is very popular in secondary school, there's this connection joining ladies emotions with anything creative. In my secondary school days a friend of mine wrote a letter to a senior , love letter precisely, normally she would have reported the letter but the hand writing was beautiful,and very neat despite the fact that the content was very wack!!. She replied the letter and all she wrote was the fantasies of how beautiful the writing looks.

2. APPEARANCE
This is the commonest reason why a girl will crush on guy. practically 90% of ladies love beautiful guys, even though they have little or no chances of ending up with them. A girl will ween repeatedly on how bad she wants that beautiful boy whose appearance looks so enchanting and fascinating, that boy whose nose is pointed, tall and very dark with neat and unique hairstyle, he necessarily doesn't have to be intelligent,smart, creative or funny. As long as he is cute the sisters will crush.

3. FAME OR POPULARITY
This is very funny. Even miss Unilorin and miss Nigeria will crush on Akpororo(Nigerian most ugly comedian) he isn't cute, he is 500miles away from the that word. Here its not about the appearance or physique its about the money and fame, you necessarily don't have to appear like Arsene Wenger or Lee min ho before ladies crush on you. Girls love to be noticed, it's not their fault it is hereditary and sanity of nature. Wannabe attitude?;most of them got it and it all rhyme and suits their pride. "Fame and popularity they say gets them faster than cuteness or fine face" you know that popular guy??she will find every possible means of sleeping with him or have memory of any sort so she can boast about it amongst her friends.

4. ASSESSORIES
You know that guy? That wealthy guy whose parent are stinkingly rich, that guy that uses the latest mobile phones, expensive gold chain with expensive ride gets the very best part of ladies. Everyone love beautiful things ladies own is extraordinary, a girl will crush on me because I use iPhone7,because I play instruments, infact she will crush on me because I wear expensive headphone. Girls are attracted to guys who wear some certain accessories. For example, a girl could get attracted to a guy just because the guy wears good wrist watches. Different girls have different tastes though. Some girls love guys who wears chains and some others shoes

5. CONFUSIONS AND JEALOUSY
this is the weirdest reason why a lady will crush on a guy, girls loses the best part of their emotions in jealousy and thereby loses everything. A lady will crush on a guy because he is known by people, they don't mind if its ideal or not. In fact it may be because her friends are also crushing on same guy. That means you don't have to be Mr intelligent or Mr fine boy if you're a known by few people it's sometimes extends the connection of attractions, they'd still crush.


6. INTELLECT AND CREATIVITY'S

Beauty wilts, but the intellect lasts if it is cultivated. Intelligence may not be attractive to some women who are easily impresses by a man’s confidence or looks. It will be noticed by women looking for someone who has their strengths in something other than their appearance. Intelligence is one of the very first things some women notice in a guy. So, play the safe side and be smart while talking to a girl. A girl will crush on a guy who play instruments, who sings sweetly or even write. Generally, girls like brilliant guys, but once a guy has a special knowledge of mathematics, it gets divine. It starts from the girls crowding around him whilst he solves maths problems to their delight. I’ll admit it myself, it’s like sorcery when a guy solves those figures effortlessly. Anyway, girls get easily carried away by the sweetness of seeing a guy dissect those maths problem easily and it leads to some physical attraction towards the guy. Wondered why the best math student in your class had lots of girls flocking around him?


7. SENSE OF HUMOR
One of the points most women point out about a desirable man is to make them laugh. This not only refers to a male’s ability to be funny, but to have a similar mood, which is equivalent to a greater possibility of compatibility. Even more so if they share jokes that only a small group would understand. The ability to make a girl laugh the very first time you meet can create a great impression on her. This is definitely one of the things girls notice in a guy as they want their partners to be fun spending time with. They don’t want a guy that makes their life dull and serious.

Note However that these doesn’t apply to all girls, as some are more emotionally mature than the others. And have in mind that what a girl finds attractive about one person another girl might not. But in the general sense, they are true

They were the popular ones.  The ones with all the latest designer clothing and buzz, the ones you’d find in every notable party on campus and the ones Ella wanted to belong with so desperately. Ella was a first year student of the University of lagos, Nigeria. You would think she would be more focused on getting her grades right especially as her parents were really struggling to put her through college. All she wanted for now was to be good friends with those popular girls. Everything else would fix itself later.

   It was the second semester. Ella had made sure to get herself clothes worthy enough to get her noticed by Benita and the other popular girls. This was despite protests from her mother about the cost. The party of the year was coming soon and Ella would not rest until she got an invite. Soon enough she got noticed, got herself closer to Benita’s clique and started doing almost everything with them. She got an invite to the party of the year and all was well in the world.

   Her friendship with the popular clique was blossoming. They would go to all sorts of parties and events together, get drunk and sleep with various men, usually of relevant status in society. Ella usually did everything with them except sleep with these men. She was from a religious home and her desire to belong with these girls hadn’t totally clouded her judgment from seeing that Benita and her friends were in all sense of the word, wayward. They had noticed Ella was a bit different and had started pressuring her to join in, adding that sleeping with the men was fun and it was the only way they could afford all the expensive clothing and reckless spending they got involved in. Ella was at the verge of losing her friendship with these girls and she did not want that. Day after day passed and the pressure only increased. Despite it all, Ella did not give in. This secretly angered Benita and the other girls because they had been spending money on her with the hopes of getting it back when Ella starts sleeping with relevant men too. They were not going to let it go and were thinking of ways to get their money back.






   The big party night Ella was so eager to attend was drawing closer. It was the birthday party of the richest and most influential student in school. All sorts of celebrity guests were going to be in attendance. Important dignitaries from all over the country were also going to be gracing the event, and of course, she was going to be seen with the best girls in school. Nothing could be better. Ella had been preparing for this party since school resumed the second semester and she was ready.  Meanwhile, Benita and her girls were plotting against Ella. They knew how bad Ella wanted to go to this party and they were going to use that against her. They planned to set her up to be raped and the party was the easiest place to get it done.

     The party night was here. As planned according to Ella’s knowledge, they were all supposed to go together so it came as a little shock to her when Benita called her and asked her to meet them halfway.  Unknown to her, the hoodlums that were to do the nasty act had been positioned close to the party venue just waiting for her. She didn’t have a car of her own unlike the other girls so she had to take public transport.  The cab she took broke down on the way and they all had to come down while the driver tried fixing it. By this time, Ella knew she was going to be really late for the party. She decided to get another cab. After succeeding in getting one, she reached for her purse to pay, only to find out it had been picked. The purse contained all her money and her phone. She was stranded and confused. By this time, the guys had grown too impatient and left. Ella, after standing for hours in the dark, was lucky enough to get a free lift back home.

   Ella missed the party and was very sad about it but, unknown to her, she was saved from a disastrous act. She was thinking about ways to explain to Benita and the other girls why she couldn’t make it but the girls were nowhere to be found. After several inquiries, she found out that they had gotten arrested on the night of the party for the possession of hard drugs. This was when Ella realized how lucky she was for not being able to go with them to the party, also just how lucky she was to have been robbed of her money and phone. Reflecting on everything that had happened, she could only come to a conclusion which was that; everything happens for a reason


Not everyone would have such opportunity which is why you have to abject from emulation and your wannabe attitude, save yourself , save your pride

Hey baby! I have wanted to call you, but I don’t know of a better way to communicate this to you on phone. I’m pregnant as shown in the test result I got from the clinic this afternoon. I am scared and confused. Please get back to me as soon as possible.”

Immediately after reading the last line of her text, I was frozen. My heart stopped for a moment and it continued vibrating the next minute. I have never received this kind of text message in my entire life. I didn’t only feel like a failure, I was also disappointed in myself.

“This is not the right time,” I whispered to myself.

I am the youngest person in my family and every of my older siblings is yet to be married. How could I have possibly been so careless at this delicate moment of my life? I will be writing my final exams in a few months time, which implies that I will be graduating thereafter. I tried to think of the situation, but all I could see was the night we spent together – the Fifty Shades of Grey kind of a night. We had it in the best way, and the totality of our body sunk into the dark night. “Skin to skin” and without any precautions whatsoever.

I didn’t reply her message since my plans had already changed. I knew what I was going to do. I was going to reject and deny the pregnancy. Let the worst come to be. More messages and missed calls, all unattended to. She eventually stopped texting neither did she call afterward. I thought that was all. Probably, in my thoughts, she must have aborted the pregnancy.



Barely a month later, while I was in my room reading for my final examination, I heard a bang on the gate. This wasn’t unusual as I thought it was my sister. She does that whenever she feels really pressed. I hurried to the gate expecting to see my sister’s face, rather it was Dolapo and her Mom. Already, I knew there was trouble.

“Is he the one?” Dolapo’s Mom asked her aggressively.

“Yes,” she responded in a tone almost nearing a whisper.

“What are you talking about,” I shouted out loud showing some annoyance on my face.

Now, the argument was getting louder and my mother came out to see what was going on.

Dolapo’s mom instantly confronted my mother and explained to her what happened and informed her that Dupe was already three months pregnant. My mom asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy. I denied without any hesitation. Eventually, my mom was forced to believe me and she lent her support. I realised she saw me as one of the coolest and most reserved of her children. She must have had other reasons to believe my words though. The whole case eventually died down and I thought that was all.

Many years later, I had raised my own family. My last son was just a carbon copy of me. On one fateful day, we were all in the house watching a movie, when, all of a sudden, we heard a knock on the gate. It was a lady and her daughter. On sighting the woman, I felt guilty and thought of my Dupe of many years ago. She has now returned to destroy my family. This time around she had brought our daughter who is pregnant with my son. At that moment I knew I have lost peace in my family. I am now a victim of the secret I thought was buried in the past. It was complete disaster afterward