AFRICAN STORIES

Eyes like jewels, eyes like diamonds.
Shining so bright, seeing so far.

How time flies, it makes me wonder.
A second, a minute, a prick and it's all gone.

Tick, tick, tick it goes on.
Slow and steady, waits for no one.

A warning, be fast with your thoughts.
Before time takes it all away.

No obstacles comes its way.
It takes along everything in its way.

How time flies, it makes me wonder.
Every second to use, is up to you.

How time brings back the little memories.
The all gone playful childhood.

Shooting star, shining sun and the beautiful moon.
Time passes, they get more beautiful.

There is really magic in time.
It makes one wonder, how time flies.

With time, we saw light after darkness.
When we were born and just helpless.

A world we enjoyed every single moment.
Time came, and took it all away.

Blame time and waste your time.
Every second is precious, never waste your time.

Story by Akin Omo Akin

You're discorded, strife, and dissented, but you want to remain loyal to him, him whom you just dropped his call few minutes ago. To you he is your man, your love and everything,you wish he is always with you but the distance between you two is as far as 1000km. He schools at Uniabuja But you're in Covenant university  a school where 90% of student comes from a rich home. You are in the midst of well built,rich and handsome looking guys, sometimes you feel like being romantically cruised with them and have fun still you didn't because you don't want to cheat on him. Your urge got increased and you started having series of thoughts,you can picture him cheating on you where he is even though you're not sure and just while you are having all of these rational thinking's You met this guy this cute looking dude,tall and well formed, he's very funny and caring,you feel like you're in heaven every time he is around you, he takes you out very often. You already know where all of that would lead,but again you believe you're strong enough to resist yourself from him,strong enough to keep him as just friend and nothing more, strong enough to keep him with you all the time and not loving him one bit because you love your boyfriend alot and you ain't never going to cheat on him. Your thoughts were true and real he asked you out, you said NO, but partially you're emotionally attached to him and you can't afford losing him,(you can't have him and you also cant let go of him) you decided to explain to him that you're having a boyfriend he said Fine and you feel happy about it thinking he's very understanding. He asked to be your bestie and you gladly accept because you really like him
Your relationship is gradually fading out. You get into fight with your boyfriend over the phone almost every time he calls, you no longer call him either, the relationship is just like that but one thing is you still love him very much. this new guy is very kind he's always available when you need him and when u don't. anytime you go out with him you tell your boyfriend about it because it is harmless friendship,you feel he wouldn't be jealous, yes true he wasn't not until you tell him about going out with the guy too often than he wished to know about,feels like he's losing you so you no longer tell him anything when the new guy takes you out and the relationship is just getting worse and poor daily


Read Also :- FANTASY

    On one of these outings the new guy kiss you, you told him never to try such again, when you get home you couldn't sleep you love the kiss, it was sweet but you hate the fact that you love it (body no be rock now)🤗 you re already attracted to him and anytime he's with you, you feel like having him all. He invites you to his apartment and you re both watching a romantic movie when you feel his hand wrapped around your shoulder ,he pulled you closer and look into your eye this time he has caught you completely you hold him and you both started kissing you want to stop and tell him you have a boyfriend but you're feeling the sensation and stopping him seems completely  impossible, before you could open your eye youre completely stripped off Sooner you allowed him slide through your honey pot which you swore to your boyfriend that only him will be allowed in. The sex was sweet and interesting you loved it because your boyfriend has created a urge in you  that needed to be filled.
      Not long after the incidence the new guy stopped being consistent, he's almost not available again, he stopped being funny gradually till he fade off your life and become one of your pasts. Just then you remember your boyfriend, you called him and told him how you really missed him and how you have been faithful to him despite his absence.
  Being in love doesn't stops anyone from cheating and distance relationship is a menace to true love.

     I have never fully engaged my entire soul in a relationship, I never stayed much loyal and commited, almost all the relationship i have affianced has always been a load of burden to the girl involved. I believed I wasn't emotionally matured enough to contend a relationship because most of my primary proficiency on it were exhibit during my tender age,I was a teen, I know little or nothing about vindicating a romantic affair,how could I possibly know something about it when I had the first experience in my jss3 at secondary school.

Life remained what it has always been, nothing changed, rain still falls sun still rises, nature remain the same but people change with time, i changed. my first year in university has an ephemera story of love, for the first time I actually felt something for someone, I told her about it and just like every other girls have dated at first she rejected , she said no, not really because she doesn't like me but because she's not ready for a relationship, I knew that myself,everything was coincidence, she just broke up with her boyfriend, although she didn't tell me, but I could read it in her face that she must have gone through a lot of emotional traumatization. after alot of proofs and persuasion,she finally agreed to date me, I was happy ,because for the first time I'm asking a girl out not because I want to know what she tastes  like but because I love her.


Time went by, I got tired of the relationship because she was too in it far beyond my comprehension,she was inlove with me much more than I desired or wanted in return. It wasn't even love anymore she was so obsessed with me, she worshiped me. I had enormous power over her emotion, I controlled her,I could do whatever I want with her. She would called me every 30minute to ask if have eaten or not, and I would get mad and address her anyhow i pleases. clearly it wasnt normal, sometimes when she do all of these things I wouldn't stop wondering if she was actually the tough girl I used to know, the savage girl that turned me down on our very first encounter , shes fading off my life gradually I wanted to be away from her, miss contacts and ceased being sexually active with her, but whatever I wanted shes seeking the opposite in multiple folds, she's always willing to be around me, she was so into love than I have control over her even more than her Father.  She boosted my ego, everything changed with me , I didn't love her anymore but to her it seem we just started the relationship, she turned into my atm machine, gave me money even when I didn't ask her


Sooner i was out of patience, I couldn't cope anymore, I started feeling irritated on every glance of her sight, I was fatigued ,Tired and frustrated. I started cheating on her with her friends, sometimes she would caught me engaging on some sexual drive with a girl, she wouldn't say anything, she's so inlove with me that whatever I do seems right, I wanted off the relationship but I might kill her if I talked her out of it, I wanted her to see that I'm not worth that kind of love,maybe just then she would walk out of the relationship herself, it was like I will wait till Jesus comes because everyday what she felt for me was multiplying, there was a day I thought I was close to achieving my aim, she caught me with her friend kissing in my hostel,unlike every other day,she confronted me and we got into argument,just like an opportunity for me to finally back out, I said I'm not interested anymore, we should let go and moved on, she went down on my feet , weeping like a lost child, I pitied her and I took back my word, I didn't do that out of love, I did it out of pity.

We are finally going to break up, but that day didn't come,it'd never come,I took my phone this faithful day and I texted her a break up message, it Was late in the night, I explained everything she has been doing , how awkward and unspeakable it is, one way or the other she slipped through the darkness and came into hostel, I was surprised and infuriated, stood on my fit to prevent her for coming in, whatever you want to say can't you wait till tomorrow? I asked angrily. what if something happened to you? What do u want with me? I'm no longer interested, I don't love you anymore, what exactly do you want?

She replied thus

Because I don't want my relationship with you to be like others, I have dated two guys before, It usually my fault and I always have myself to blame I don't want it this way with you  because if I dont make effort to keep us together  it I'll keep passing on from guys to men and to guys all over. I'm doing all of these because I had to, my ex broke up with me because he thought I didn't cared about him, I left him without having a second thought of sorting it out and I'm not willing to  make that mistake anymore that  is why I'm making every effort to protect our relation.........

I didn't allowed her pronounced the final word I kissed her and held her in my grip, she didn't win my heart with only her beauty she won it with her word, it is when you dislike something that it constantly appears irritating to you, when you like it it'd be beautiful, in my eyes, Evelyn was the most beautiful girl have seen that very Day,it was like the beginning of our love, it was like extinction too.

My dear ladies, he his pigheaded and egocentric?he wanted out of your relationship what have you done to keep him? Let the bastard go? Right, anybody can change she changed me with  words, words are like spirit they are powerful, how many guys would you date ? Why do you think you can't change him!! Its your relationship, try exercising little effort before you break it.

By Adetokunbo Ajenifuja

“Benita. When I close my eyes, you are all I see, not darkness. That’s why I call you the light of my life, the light that banished the shadows of my soul. I want you. I really do.”

His voice was silky yet so keen, stealing into her chest for the treasure therein. Speechless, she tilted her head, shuffling her feet on the grass.

The wind teased its sweep, the tree its dance, its foliage pressing upon the teenagers, low enough as if to hearken their words.

“Please, say something.” Kenneth was losing his patience.



“I’ve told you times without number that I don’t feel the same!” She blurted with a blank face, “We can still remain best of friends!”

He regarded her with an I-don’t-expect-nothing-less kind of look. It’s been six months since he started confessing his love to her. There is no gambling worse than wooing a woman, said his late grandfather. You’re not likely to win at the first, second or third trial. But never relent. Never. Alas, you might never win at all and lose to gamblers with good fortune. Kenneth could attest to that now, how much of a loser he’d become.

READ ALSO :-  THE WIFE MATERIAL

“What else do you have to say?” She snapped, picked up her iron pail, and left for the stream. He stared at her. She seemed a suitable model, proud, as fierce as the swing of her wide hips.
BENITA

I was at the stream, feeling sorry for my reaction to Kenneth, my secret lover. My friends were just approaching, four of them. I’d told them about Kenneth, my church member, but none of them had met him. He was now in the company of three boys near the stream, under the mango tree.

“That’s him,” I whispered to my friends, The tallest among them, the one with fair skin.”

“You mean that cute one with…” one was gesticulating to emphasize on Kenneth’s bulky frame.

“Yeah,” I affirmed.

“Oh my God!” Somebody exclaimed.

“No tell me sey you never gree o,”

“I haven’t jor.” I told them.

“But your shakara too much sha.”

“What if he doesn’t ask again?”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. I’ve bought the love card I’m going to present to him, as a surprise. I will meet him in church tomorrow.”

***

“On the following day, Kenneth didn’t come to church, so I…..”

“Grandma, but you eventually presented the card to him right?” I’m interrupted by the most inquisitive of my four granddaughters, all seated on the sofa before me.

“What year was that?” That’s the youngest of them, a girl of eighteen.

“…around ’56, my daughter. As I was saying, I headed for his house, the love card in my Bible. On getting there, I met a crowd of people, his mother weeping at the verandah, his father stamping his feet. They said Kenneth died overnight, from severe stomach ache. I broke down in tears, my Bible fell. Staring at the card, I hated myself, cursed myself. I placed the card on his grave, kneeling there, crying, willing Kenneth to hear my love confession, but it is too late.”

“Too sad.”

“Touching.”

“Eeeyah.”

“A super story…”



“Thank you, my children. I’m not asking you to make yourself too available to men. Women are supposed to be
treasures, something expensive. Yet if you love somebody, don’t take too long to show it, because you never know when you might lose them.”

  Poor uncle, I bleed and pity for  him even though I didn't want to, why? Because despite how successful he is in his early life, his past hunted him to  pulp, he dragged all of this problem into his life by himself courting a "carrier" of genotype with SS during his tertiary education when he himself is "AS" he got  overwhelmed by the stupid word called love and the love is come to the future hunting him just the way American hunted Osama bin ladin. The mother- his wife Died two years after the baby boy was delivered. After spending half of his early life wealth treating sickle cell now its passed down to his only son. He started nursing the boy in hospital just like he has been doing with his mother till she passed away. How could he be so naive? Well I might sounds wicked but I'm not , he knew the right way but still tended to obliged to wrong part of life, he knew his genotype and also the implications of marrying someone of his type talkless of those below his type.

     I see the fear in the little boy's eyes and he finally said something ? I know I'm putting my dad in lot of unspeakeable ptobl but I don't Even want to get sick, I mean ever get sick again. Tear rolled down the 14yrs old boy eyes and I shut him up,i told him its not his fault. The boy was so brave and brilliant that he even explained what must have made him have such genotype. He looks so frustrated, uttering different kind of thing, he even said HIV would have been better although those two are incurable but when someone with HIV uses their drugs the way it's prescribed they don't suffer pain like him, him who get sicked every week, I'm still going to die,i know, I pray God just make it faster, at this point my mind came back to normal and I came out of cognitive thoughts. I was out of words and I couldn't even impel or convince him. I'm sad to tell y'all that the young dude die two weeks later.

  Love is sweet, best of emotions, most enjoyable pleasure of life but also the most destructive. when it is not properly handled in cases like this he does nothing else than ruining a bright future, condom would have prevented the whole of this miseries that has completely broken his future. Current youth of today don't care about what genotypes or blood group they only use condom to prevent pregnancy. Learn from other stories and don't even try making the same mistake they've made. You wanna go flesh flesh and you ain't afraid of the outcome ? Ask her genotype!!Or better still preclude and obviate yourself from pre-marital sex.
Safe her family and your family
Safe your unborn child
Safe your future.

I have lived half of my undivided life wallowing and luxuriating in ignorance of Lagos being the most beautiful city in Nigeria. Practically I have been to almost all the cities revolving around the sod but I still haven't stumbled upon a beautiful city like Ikeja. I have couple of brother who studies at some universities in kwara state, every time they return home from holiday break, they expatiate and descant, fantasizing on how blisteringly beautiful the city of ilorin is. I'll sit quietly like a bullied child ,staring at their mouths as they uncloak the interesting characteristics of the city of which could convince anyone to live the rest of their life in ilorin. Poor me I got overwhelmed and I started thinking of traveling there, just to go have a look and see the beautiful city that could stand really sturdy, competing with the city of lagos. I had no way of persuading my parent as we have no family in the city I could pay visit, I know one day my dream shall come to pass.


I finally graduated from secondary school and the next thing was jamb,university and all, my parent wanted me to attend you unilag I'd have loved to attend unilag too of course, But it was like a big opportunity of fulfilling my dream , oh No mum I prefer Unilorin have you heard about the school ? They have retained unshakable and stable  academic stability calendar since the last 39 years!! How do you know? She asked me ? Haha I have seen it a couple of time in punch news paper and online as well? My mum is the hardest person in my life who seemed almost impossible and very difficult to induce, she wouldn't allow me uphold my decision so I have to prevail her much more, mum beside that they give out tablet to aid the studies of their students,you won't be lavishing your cash on handouts?, as you wish Son!!! . finally dream coming true!! I chose the school not because of the tablet or academic stability but just to fulfil my dream and and killed my anxiousness and curiosity of visiting the city. It was time for post-utme and all aspirant are to travel down to the campus for the exam definitely I'm going to travel as well. I packed few things and called my brothers to tell them I'd becoming to ilorin. I headed to park afterward and we set off from oshodi.
     

    Here we come the entrance of the city, I saw the tiled road illustriously beautified with Candescent asphalt appearing all black like the road in future new York I was so surprised,the car moving at extensive pace with so much comfort , its being 30minute since we entered the city I haven't stumbled on the next passenger beside me,there was no gallops or natural bumps, I looked through the window to have a glimpse of how beautiful the city sides are they were beyond my expectation,unlike Lagos where hold ups slows down the solace of travellers, there wasnt any till we got to the bus stop. We got to the bus stop and everyone highlighted including me , I saw a lot of sign board arranged at the inverse of the roadside, I stared at it for a while and I noticed that the image of the ex governor was twice the size of the current ? I was confused. which supposed to be bigger?I asked myself, like fashola barely appears on Ambode campaign postal infact he has never appeared not in any of those have seen before, Excuse me Sir? Who is the governor ? Saraki or mai gida the bike man answered me humbly "mai gida ni fa, ama  baba ni saraki"   of "course mai gida but saraki is the godfather" I was so amazed and wowed, imagining how respectful the citizen of the beautiful city of Ilorin are, to have accord more respect to their godfather than the state governor.

We got to challenge, the city center it was so beautiful, unlike Ikeja city that has a big vision coverage along roadside,which is basically use for products and movies advertisement, challenge is filled with shops and bridges, appearing even  final than third mainland's, this place is cute, indeed very beautiful!!!!!!!!!! I concluded. The governor house was like aso rock beautifully shining on white paint.the shop rite was a bomb (the best have ever seen so far) this city is great.


I got to my brother hostel a beautiful self contained apartment, painted in grey and harsh colors. It was like I'm home , I have stayed from 2pm and it was 8pm, I was expecting them have taken off the electricity but they didn't bro do you have stable light in here (ahhh oke odo? They don't take light in here even if they do it barely take an hour before bringing it back) wow indeed this place is beautiful. I wanted to call and browse with my phone ? A 4g network appeared!! Oh my God bro? You've got 4g LTE in here the browsing is damn way too fast (ah you'll enjoy your stay down here at oke  odo more like a small Paris in here) surprising!!! Very nice, I said to myself.

It was around 11pm my brother ask if I will follow him to school for night class,I nodded in agreement and we took off it was almost 11pm and I still see ladies moving about ? Aren't there bad boys in here? Don't they snatch purse in here or rape these girls ? He answered ? ( ahh oke odo ? No this place is very peaceful infact the city entirely ) unlike unilag campus area where bariga boys usually raid and rape the girls in the night ilorin is so Pacific I said in my mind again.

It was 11am in the morning ,I was waiting to see the sun rise but it didn't? Haha it dry season bro wouldn't there be sun? Its very cool in here kid bro we don't have scotching sun Unlike lag? Sun usually comes out before 9am I waited till 1pm and the sun was just like those of which rises sometimes after rainfall, so cool that anybody could walk about peacefully without any iota of discomfort innit.

I'm sorry to disappoint you
I'm sorry for being ironic
But it'd have been much finery and regalia only if all of these weren't opposite (IRONY)

       Certainly he has made this hijab not for me to cover my bemired,besmirched and unclean but chasteness modesty and purity. The society prefers me to be unclad, to dress in almost nudity, to look exactly like the unbelievers wallowing in obliviousness of western world, but with my hijab, I stand completely different, completely out of fordeem appearances He (ALLAH) spoke against in the Holy Qur'an.

With my hijab I could walk around the world blissfully,satisfactorily and delightedly. I have nothing to be scared of but something to be accord on. selectively and uniquely respected,because my hijab doesn't makes me look like one of them. Who dress in the way of Satan, who have their hair exposed to take more than thousands of curses from Angels Every Day. The way I'm addressed is in accordance of probity, well presented and capable enough to win a lost soul.


My Hijab didn't bring respect and rectitude alone, it also uncloak and unmask my stunning beauty. I have been condemn to look horrible in my pride (hijab) I have been beguile too, on how I'll look prettier than queen Elizabeth, if I throw off my Hijab. But I cannot be deceived, not because I followed and still following his path alone but because I value his existence and superiority over all creature of the world (Allah).

The people of my age have said alot to me, tormented my life because I got my pride covered. They wondered how I still have my hijab on during hot weather but they don't know that I'm not like them, when you're used to something it'd get to a stage that it'd not have any effect in your life anymore no matter how well and often you do it. I'm used to my dignity, I'm used to my hijab that I don't even know when it is hot.

My hijab my saviour, my redeemer of evil that lives in the heart of men. You were like a scare crow that affright away all types of evils that men are capable of. While they all married to braids and weavon, wool and artificial hairs just to have the attention of common people of the world, I stick to my hijab to seek a place in the hereafter.
My Hijab my dignity
My hijab my self-esteem
My Hijab my pride
ISLAM my WORLD.

: THE SOCIOLOGIST’S THINKING


It is when we agree to a particular behavior that the behavior becomes part of us and our society, however some behaviors notably prostitution is frowned upon yet it remains a part of our existence, we frown at it, our culture outlaws it and our religion stands against it, yet it remains. Not because it is pleasurable or beneficial but because our society who frowns at it helps in maintaining its existence. HARD TO BELIEVE?  READ ON, TO FIND HOW.
In Nigeria, practitioners of the sex industry is risked to a lot of occupational hazards such as biological, social stigma and even spiritual in form of ritual killings, yet the practice is endemic and it is being passed down to younger generations as a visit to bars, hotels and beer parlor etc would give you the sight of teenage girls available for sex who being thought the trade by a pimp.
WHY IT SURVIVES
Kingsley Davis a leading scholar in sociology of prostitution have linked the high moral standards of the society to the continuous existence of prostitution, he asserted that the society frowns at the act yet latently encourage it by striking a difference between ‘meaningful and meaningless sex”, “moral and immoral sexual behaviors” this division have caused men to see sex with their wives as meaningful through the so called moral sex styles e.g. missionary style while sex with prostitutes as meaningless through the immoral and funky styles e.g. oral sex, anal sex, and the 69. The idea of Davis is simple, you want a good sex go to your wife, you want dirty and casual sex visit the prostitutes. With this a demand is created for prostitution which makes it existence untouchable.
Catherine Mc kinnon, a vocal feminist scholar have asserted that the patriarchal system of the society encourage it existence by creating a demand and supply for it by socializing men into dominant roles and women into submissive roles which put women to dependence on men for subsistence because of the socially disadvantaged position which they have found themselves in economic structures of the society.
WHY PEOPLE ENGAGE IN IT
At this point, it is imperative to turn to social psychologists for answers Alobo and Rita upholds that there are factors that pull people to prostitution and are supported by a study conducted by Katja Huber and co(2009).
Predisposing Factors: These are factors that have to do with upbringing like child abuse, rape and divorce of parents. This factor explains why sex practitioners are able to detach emotions from sex, this means love and other emotions do not get in the way of the sex.
Attracting Factors: The thought that the profession brings a lot of money and some sort of freedom from the 9-5 work.
Precipitating factors: These are socio economic factors such as unemployment, poverty etc
RECRUITMENT PROCESS.
Recruitment into the prostitution profession has no educational qualification; all that is required is readiness to do it for money. Lautt (1984) claimed that there are three entry points into the profession and none is force used to recruit members.
Exploitation: This kind of recruitment is done by a pimp who gets teenage girls to prostitute for her; she is usually older and is responsible for finding clients and safety for her girls and also training them.
Recruitment by a big sister figure: This is done by friends who party together and flock around each other, they first engage in sex for fun during parties, but then are encouraged by a big sister who advise them to do it for money instead, here exploitation is usually minimal or nonexistent.
The independent and pragmatic decision: Done by older girls who are usually within the 18-24 age range, they join as a result of economic necessity, poor salaries or limited skills.
Corroborating the above, one must note that the profession is learnt just like any other profession, practitioners learn the principles of safe sex by ensuring their clients use condoms, body hygiene, beauty and make up tips, and getting their clients to orgasm in a short time so as to get on to the next one etc. They learn the ethics of the profession: punctuality, hygiene, getting out of the way of other prostitutes etc.
SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM (Emmanual Nwakama)
Efforts should be intensified to curb unemployment, gender inequality, poverty and sexual abuse
Demand and Supply of prostitution should be criminalized. We should not think legalizing and regulating the act would curtail the problem citing the examples of New Zealand, Australia and Neitherland who have legalize the act have witnessed a surge in the increase of child prostitution.
Promulgating laws to reduce excessive commercialization of the feminine bodies for adverts and commercials, it latently link women to sex and sex alone.




The sociologist’s thinking is a weekly newsletter that seeks to explain and tackle social problems and phenomena that affects you from the stand points of sociology professionals and scholars. In accordance to the ethics of social research; criticisms, suggestions and encouragements are welcomed alike and if there is any social problem you have observed in your environment and you want THE SOCIOLOGIST to explain, you may reach THE SOCIOLOGIST via the under listed means

PHONE/WHATSAPP: +2348066949058
FB:adebayokayode4christ@yahoo.com
MAIL: senadebayo@gmail.com
TILL I COME YOUR WAY NEXTWEEK, ALWAYS REMEMBER: THE SOCIOLOGIST IS ALWAYS THINKING

By Ajenifuja Adetokunbo

The cold was growing stronger by each passing moment. So was my feelings for her.

Between us, on the mahogany log, was what seemed a mile but I wished we were skin-to-skin close. Our eyes rested on the pathway leading to the farm. Our minds pregnant with words unsaid. Words stringed with fragments of our emotions. Instead, we spoke with our souls, with our bodies, our eyes. The foliage of the tree had been dripping with iced water, the liquid cascading down our bodies, drenching us. She couldn’t stop shivering, hugging herself, tightly. Her figure was barely visible in the shadows of the woods, under the massive foliage of an orange tree. At least, here was better than the open – the dimmed daylight – where heaven was pouring down and increasing with every rumble of thunder, with every flash and dash of lightning. Praises to this hilly earth. Or flood would have swept us away. The clothing on her were pieces of tie-dye wrappers. One tied round her breasts and another from her waist to her knees – otherwise she was naked. I loved her costume. In it her breasts were always defined, her melon-shaped breasts, as well as the loaded cheeks of her bums. Hers were generous curves…this goddess.

She threw a glance at me. Through the corner of my eyes I caught her. Twice our eyes had met, and then my heartbeat had rivaled the ‘ptarr-ptarr’ of the rain against the plants – our only witnesses besides the gods. Our bodies yearning and this might be the only moment we had, forever. The moment we had craved for many moons – six or seven moons ago – the moment to be together in a lone place. A place where we could make our first love. Her father had admonished her to keep away from men. Intercourse would be too much, until her brideprice was settled. Until her wedding night. Failure to comply, her father warned, would result into destruction for her and such partner. I was incapable to be Anike’s betroth. This I knew. Not that I was too young as a lad of twenty-five. I just needed to acquire a farmland – a large one at that – to grow crops, preferably yams. Or cocoa. I had come from the Ayan, the drummers clan. All her parents wanted was a man wealthy enough to pay her price. Not the son of ‘Ayan’ like me,
popularly called beggars. That’s why I must start farming. With that, I would be able to pay her brideprice worth lot of yams and goats and other items. Then I would be fit to call myself a man.



A man, our people say, is the one who provides more than his woman needs. I was not only bulky but strong enough to singlehandedly cultivate fifty acres of farmland in a period of one market week. My strength had earned me the prize of the best wrestler among my peers, hence I was a popular fighter. Anike had won my heart among many

She threw a glance at me. Through the corner of my eyes I caught her. Twice our eyes had met, and then my heartbeat had rivaled the ‘ptarr-ptarr’ of the rain against the plants – our only witnesses besides the gods. Our bodies yearning and this might be the only moment we had, forever. The moment we had craved for many moons – six or seven moons ago – the moment to be together in a lone place. A place where we could make our first love. Her father had admonished her to keep away from men. Intercourse would be too much, until her bride price was settled. Until her wedding night. Failure to comply, her father warned, would result into destruction for her and such partner. I was incapable to be Anike’s betroth. This I knew. Not that I was too young as a lad of twenty-five. I just needed to acquire a farmland – a large one at that – to grow crops, preferably yams. Or cocoa. I had come from the Ayan, the drummers clan. All her parents wanted was a man wealthy enough to pay her price. Not the son of ‘Ayan’ like me, popularly called beggars. That’s why I must start farming. With that, I would be able to pay her bride price worth lot of yams and goats and other items. Then I would be fit to call myself a man.



A man, our people say, is the one who provides more than his woman needs. I was not only bulky but strong enough to singlehandedly cultivate fifty acres of farmland in a period of one market week. My strength had earned me the prize of the best wrestler among my peers, hence I was a popular fighter. Anike had won my heart among many other maidens, many admirers. And I must do all I could to possess her. I was attracted not only by her beauty but her petiteness.

We used to meet secretly along the stream, same place she accepted my love, before she was tortured by her father. For the past four moons her father had tumbled a bridge between us. The cane scars still visible on her body. Somebody must have told her father about us. He could as well know by himself. Ogunbanwo, who was Anike’s father, was a powerful hunter known across our village and beyond. His magic was very potent, which was the cause of my fear, my restrictions. He had slain a tiger and used its teeth to make a necklace, its skin a hunting garb. He could turn to anything, wild things. He could disappear and appear anywhere at will. He inherited his power from his father who had been a great warrior. It was said that Ogunbanwo had fortified all his children, including Anike, so that no evil could befall them. A man had aimed to slap one of his children only to get struck by lightning. The victim was awake in three days not before feeding on dog’s excreta, the only remedy.

I believed the rain was falling for me, for us. The gods had favoured us. Mama had sent me to the farm as soon as the wind began. I’d been sent to fetch some firewood she’d gathered there. On my way back, wading through the deluge, I stumbled on Anike under this tree, her basket of dried cocoa lying beside her. We didn’t greet with words but smiles. Hers was a magical smile, the grey of her full moon eyes gleaming with desire.

For seven moons it had not rained in our village. I imagined our hut, how cool its wall would feel tonight, same way I imagined Anike’s wall, that constricted wall and its heavenly warmth. I wanted to worship her. I wanted to touch…to feel her skin, which was as coloured and as gleaming as an oily gourd in the sun.

Our eyes met again and she did not – could not – look away. Come into me, said her eyes. When her eyes beckoned again, and again, I knew my dream would come to pass. I inched closer to her, which she reciprocated.

I pulled off my ‘dashiki’ shirt to reveal my bare chests which the villagers likened to pair of mighty rocks. Bit by bit, our hands clasped together, our body quivered with such startling strangeness my tissues sparked to life. My nerves crackled like kindred firewood. She let out a soft sigh. The feeling was mutual, of course. Instinctively, we sat astride the log.

Slowly, I planted my lips in hers. Full and well formed lips. We Sucked. We wrestled with our tongues. Our necks had grown minds of their own, cocking our heads from left to right. We licked and gulped our juices; as intoxicating a liquid as fresh palmwine. My hands accommodated her melons, those soft mounds, squeezing them, kneading them, until they swelled and grew tight. Her body jerked from each touch as though she was tickled in the armpit. I felt her breaths quickened after mine, invading my lungs, and I was intoxicated more. Her heart beating ten times the normal. I felt it. I felt the pounding. I heard it even.

My hands extended to her waist, fiddling with her waist beads, hers around my back. Our bodies grinded together while I kissed the side of neck, upwards, in slow-steady pace.

Her breasts, which I had stripped naked, began vibrating against my chest, or so I felt, exuding warmth, sticky from the water drops, sucking my cold to oblivion. Their proud peaks piercing my chests, soothing…very soothing, the bulge in my shorts jerking to its final fullness at last. Feeling my hardness against her thighs, she fretted, trying to squirm herself free. But too late. I had locked her legs around my waist and my monster, pulled out, had sought its way between her thighs. Skin to skin, I could almost feel the heat now. But I felt the tickles of slimy things, warm wetness, and the pulsations of hooded fleshes. Swollen fleshes.

“I..I want you…now…Ayanbiyi.” She breathed, moaned actually, clutching onto me as desperately as if she was dying and I held the antidote to her life, to her survival.

I would not have hesitated to grant her wish if all had not been playing out in my head, If all had not been a fantasy.

There she was, my mistress, eyes resting on the pathway, our positions unchanged, everything unchanged, except the bulge in my shorts. We were restrained still by the fear of the unknown

 Many souls gone.
Silence after all.
Tramples of the horses.
Fading of the voices.

Fought with vigour.
Every single hulk.
With complete bravery.
 Conquered all fears.
During the brawl.

Swords swinging in action.
Blades hungry for blood.
Smiles concealed.
After a defeat.
On the battlefield.

Nigh what are we.
To gain Victory.
Faced the enemies.
With the last drops of blood.
But there was a massacre.
And they won the War.

A battle we have lost.
But the War is still on.
For a flee in the battle.
Does not measure our mettle.

Nimbly intoned by the sage.
Those who fight and run away.
Would live to fight another day.

I used to smoke Marijuana, do drugs and alcohol. They didn’t get rid of my problems, but they alleviated my worries and sublimated the pains. I liked to stay alone just listening to music. Because they talked to me. I didn’t like religion, I was never a believer. Not that I worshipped the devil, I just didn’t see the point. I was never perfect, I was nothing close, I had no reason to be. I had lots of problems but I was contented. It wasn’t rosy but I wasn’t broken. I just let life push me to whatever direction it willed.

But then you came along- like a calm. You calmed a storm I didn’t even realize existed. You came like a light that killed the darkness. For once, I felt happy. It was you who gave me a reason to wake up everyday. You were my body my spirit and my soul. To me, you replaced “life”. I became everything you wanted me to be. For you, I stopped smoking because you outrightly hated it. For you, I started feeling comfortable with mixing with people because you insisted I was too uptight. I wanted to be the one good enough for you. For you, I quit drinking, because it went against your moral standards. You told me about Jesus, and how our meeting was some “divine arrangement”. For you, I believed he was real, because I was grateful to him for gifting you to me. For a moment I had you, I had it all…. You gave me love, and you gave me life.

I met your friends, didn’t like me. They liked James, the guy you introduced to me as your friend. He was handsome and clean, brilliant and successful…Highly religious and rich too. He neither smoked nor drank cos he had no reason to. He was fun and he bought gifts for you and your friends. He bought you a gold watch on your birthday but I could only afford a bracelet. I would give you the world if I had it. But all I had was dreams, and a strong desire to be the best for you. You reassured me how much you’d never leave me. I couldn’t do much, but I did all I could. I was willing to cut myself, yes, bleed for you just to keep you. But again, there wasn’t much I could do. I became insecure, but you told me not to worry. You told me he was just being nice and that he was harmless.

Time went by, and you became kind of distant. I talked about it and you dismissed my insinuations as feminine and dramatic. After sometime you started with the attitude. I tried to man-up and not talk about it but then it got the my neck, and I called you up and blurted out. You told me how we needed to take a break for sometime because you needed time and space. I was worried, sad and restless. You told me it wasn’t me, that I had done nothing wrong. You told me it was you, that you needed to sort out some personal issues. You told me not to bother cos you still got me.

Weeks went by, you didn’t call or pick up my calls. I got frustrated, you said I shouldn’t visit but I couldn’t wait any longer. Yesterday was our anniversary, So I walked to your place last night with flowers. Just under that tree in front of your house, I saw you kissing the very guy you told me not to worry about.
Now I’m down, shattered and broken to bits. Nothing left but agonizing memories of you. Back to the comfort of my old companions, whom I left like the prodigal son you told me about. My Marijuana wrapped up with a leaf cut out of the bible you gave me. A spirit on the table and loud music blowing my head off. This ritual I’ll solemnly repeat till I obliterate the faintest memory of you.

So what?
I get into an argument with a man,  he slaps me, I feel the pain, yet they tell me I provoked him. I should have been quiet,  I should have been patient.  I should apologize to him.

I get into an argument with a man,  I slap him,  they tell me I have no respect, no home training. I should have been quiet,  I should have been patient. I should apologize to him.
Because I am a woman,  I don't have a right to be angry. So, the degree of my innocence is directly proportional to the degree of my  silence in the face of oppression and brutality.....

Because I am a woman, my husband cheats on me, I am told to tolerate it to save my marriage. The barbaric and stupid excuse is that ''it is in their nature to cheat,  I should slim down,  dress better, cook better,  pray harder and be more pleasant to him"

I cheat, and I am called a whore, I have committed an abomination, I have no right to look elsewhere for the love and emotional support I lack at home,  I am an irresponsible mother.

So I am sent packing, from the home we both built,  with all my earthly possessions stuffed into a tiny box on my head.  I am henceforth forbidden from seeing my two older children,  I'm lucky to be allowed to go with my little one still suckling on my left breast. Three years later, the little one is tagged a bastard. Now, my new name is "after-three",  because I am a woman.

He is 28 and runs a company. He's tagged  wonderful, hardworking,  focused,  career oriented,  successful at a very young age.

I am 28 and I run a company " Hmmmm, she is not even married, unserious, can not order her priorities right, a hustler,  loves money,  let her go and get a husband oh"
And I wonder if being successful has anything to do with a person's gender.

Because I am a woman,
I am not allowed to have wits or be a prodigy, I cannot be financially buoyant,  professionally successful or be treated with respect without a man beside me.

Then I am tagged a generous leg opener, "a runs girl". They never see the possibility that I actually had to go through ups and downs to get to where I am.
Because I am a woman.

A man looses his wife to death and remarries a year after, he did the right thing, he's being praised and congratulated for moving on, after all life is for the living.

A woman looses her husband to death and remarries after 4yrs, "ahhh! so early? Are u sure she wasn't sleeping with that man even when her husband was alive? That was why she killed her husband.  She's a witch! "  Because she's a woman.

Because I am a woman, this post will be considered controversial, and everyone will try to correct me.
But don't forget, that I am a woman and it does not make me less human!!!

was on my bed ,battling with my chemistry assignment while I heard a loud voice from a short distance close to my door,
she shouted ,Akin !!!! Akin!!! Akinn!! Tobi my roommate stood up angrily and went to the door step, he shouted what is wrong with you???? are you Ok?!! are you out of your mind!!.

at this point I couldn't hold it anylonger, i knew the kinda girl Nina is,she's my girlfriend and I know each and every of her character, the look on her face is horrible ,she might slap tobi,and I wouldn't want that to happen.I held her shoulder from the back,to prevent her from making stupid move toward my roommate,then I turned back saying,hey man!!!! just a minute , Tobi left the room angrily.

hey Nina what's wrong is everything alright?😒😒 you know ladies and their pretense attitude when they want something from guys na, she folded her two arms around my shoulder ,then she started sobbing ,hey bby talk to me, I knew she has a problem,I knew something was wrong, what is it? Nina!!

then she said she's in need of 30'000 naira to pay for her exam and buy some practical material ,fortunately my dad just sent my sch fee 100'000.Nina is that all ??  she said yes with a glamouring look all over her face.I opened my bag and brought out my atm card ,I took her to the bank and withdrawn 35,000 for her. she pecked my forehead and left.

three days later I saw Nina at Gimis BAR with a guy, romancing, rubbing and kissing each other ,my mind broke out and I said ,oh Nina you!!!!???so you' have been cheating on Me?,she gave me a little rat look like am nothing,right in my presence she continue kissing the guy ,then I said with tears is that how you gonna pay me back,to my utmost surprise Nina said
hey AKIN SORRY WHAT  HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME

Can you imagine?, most girls are cheat,extract money from you and spend it on another nigga they are actually inlove with. That is what they do that is who they are. dont fall their prey before giving your money or anything out to them,ensure they are trust worthy.

I was born clumsy, and reckless, and restless. I had been destined by fate to never do things the cool way. I never did anything the normal human way. I did nothing easier than fucking things up, but somehow it always fell in place at the end.

A perfect date goes in this same reoccurring sequence: Boy takes girl to a fancy dinner dressed in his shiniest tuxedo while he speaks softly, like whispers of sweet music to his companion's ears while she sits opposite him smiling through the night. He pays the bills and leads her to his car, be the gentleman to hold the door open for her while she enters his expensive ride, drives her to the balcony of her house. At the end of the night she blesses him with a kiss that sparks the relationship.

Our date was a hundred-foot pole off what a perfect date was. You see, a guy always has to get to the place first, and then wait for the usually late girl to join him. It's like a divine law of some sort.

I broke this law.

By the time I got to the Porsche garden restaurant of the Lekki Gateway Hotel, she was already there waiting for me. That would have been the most embarrassing situation if she hadn't mistaken me for a waiter when she saw me based on how I was dressed. While I donned a grey T-shirt and a pair of fared blue Jeans, she was dressed like she was attending a cocktail party.

The orders were even more embarrassing.

After staring blankly into the menu for almost half an hour— searching for a food that was actually familiar — I ended up settling for just a bottle of water. I can't order what I don't know how to eat. While she sat there like a queen graciously picking her grains with a blunt knife and a fork by gullet only swallowed the harmless liquid.

I knew the devil finally won when it was time to settle the bill and the waiter announced our expenses- It was twice the amount I had in my wallet. Just before the situation got lousy and humiliating, she went into her purse, pulled out a wand of crisp notes and paid the bills. We both walked out of the place, the very torturous silence that enveloped us was grave enough to smother me.  We parted ways mumbling barely audible goodnights too ourselves. I went back home that day certain- and glad- that I would never hear from her again.

Home.

I dump myself in bed. My phone bleeps. Message pops. I open it. The words in the text flashes through me, illuminating the darkest corners of my heart. It reads-

"It was just a bad date. I wasn't there for the food, I was there to see the real you. I did, and I fell in love with it. Call me, I love you. Xoxo. Adeshewa 🤗🤗🤗

 So if she will love you she'll love you,not all the girls want the money,minority wishes to know the real kind of person they are about to fall in love with
So don't attempt spending all your pocket money to impress any girl🤗 the thing is if she will love you even if youre as broke as a renowned pauper she surely will.

   So because I was really shocked when I got her call I couldn't pick it the first time.so I watched my phone ring till it stopped, i dropped the phone beside me to  reckon on  the call and how damned and disappointed I'd be if she ever say NO to me. I'm not punishing her,I'm punishing myself, drowned in my own grieve and fret because I was so in love with her,while all of these advisements is running through my mind,my phone rings the second time it was the same girl, the same girl I'm in love with, the same girl that changed my life withing couple of days, I was thinking of what to say again when the phone stopped ringing, this time again I have slipped off hearing her out maybe she'd tell me *No or Yes*. I feel like I'm a coward It seriously eaten me up, blaming myself that I'm not even man enough to speak with a girl of my peer group just because I'm in love with her ? I'd want to call her back but I still couldn't so I had no other option than lying on my bed and think it all over trust me all that came into my head is not something very meaningful to face a negative answer from her
    That night I couldn't sleep, I woke up and stumbled upon a text the following morning  it was hers, the girl. I couldn't open it I was too afraid to ? What if she says No would I ever feel like this for anyone again? I doubt it. i dressed up and moved down to the park, it's a long que, oh damn not again this morning (I said to myself) after fighting and haggling  to enter a bus to sch I finally succeeded in our school marcopolo,its overfilled already so I was pressed in one of these corners standing like figure one well I managed to make it comfortable even though it wasn't, we got to school and while I was coming down from the school bus? I saw her coming from the normal campus shuttle park she look at me, i lowered my gaze I couldn't look up , this time I'd be completely dreadful with my thought.
   I was completely shattered and depressed, emotional and fervid.the class that day went so horrible and terrific for me. Not for some other reasons than me thinking about how she must have felt after seeing me coming down from marcopolo, she looks like she's from a rich family but look at me entering a #20 bus, would she be thinking I'm too broke to afford the normal campus shuttle, what would she think of me ? What impression would she have about me  ? Was all in my mind when a close girlfriend  of mine came to me to cheer me up, she must have noticed I'm moody, so we got talking, she succeeded in cheering me up and that makes me feel very better and comfortable she asked me what the problem is but I couldn't tell her ,because I'm running away from reality ,I have seen her with the girl I love before and I strongly believe that they are both friends, what if she's having a crush on me or something? That would be suicidal for me to tell her about being madly in love with her friend so I kept mute and told her its nothing. we stood up from one of these seats in the walkway and headed for the park,on our way i saw her again, like why im i seeing her everywhere? I left that question for my instinct to answer besides my hand was on the other girl shoulder the kind of look she gave me was so off my expectation she said hello to the girl and walk past us, I pretended like nothing happened but deep down I know she was burning inside of her.
         I got home thinking again, felt like cursing myself this time around. Akin youve messed up all of these already two bad impressions in one day? What will she think of me? A gilt? A playboy or a manhoe? Broke ass nigga, oh my God I shouldn't have gone for lecture today, I haven't say the last word when my phone rang out. Oh it was her it was the girl this time I'm so confused and afraid that I couldn't even think straight either to avoid the phone call or face whatever she has to say I picked her call finally and
What did we talk about? You'll find out soon.