MY DAD (TYPICAL AFRICAN FATHER)

Story by WISDOM BARTHOLOMEW

 Wisdom Bartholomew
My. Dad.
He is about the fiercest person I know. There was this thing that was terrifying about him. My Dad would literally have shouted down the walls of Jericho if he was in existence with the Israelites then. I know some people will come and say that I'm exaggerating. I wouldn't blame you tho. A single experience will change your mindset. You see all that muscle Samson was flexing in the Bible by killing a lion with the jaw bone of an ass? My Father doesn't need all that effizy. Just a minute stare into the eyes of the lion and it would send it running back in fear and trembling. Yes. My dad is bad ass like that. I've had a lot of memories with him and his whip. But I'll share with you the one I'll never ever forget. Even if Amnesia looked me in the face and gave me three dirty slaps.

I just got into Ss2 then. Young, silly and in love. Yesssss. There was this fine slim Edo chic I was madly in love with then... (She'll even read this post). I swore by the moon and the stars that I would do anything for her mehn. See my life na. The love was sweet and young so I enjoyed it. I wouldn't mind not having some doughnuts then for lunch. My girlfriend had to eat before I could even think about it. Soo fam, it was the week of her birthday. A Wednesday, it was. I had started that week with nothing in my pockets at all. And it was Monday, meaning I have just two days to get the love of my life a birthday present. That same Monday, I got home from school and my Dad asked me to go withdraw 10,000 naira from the bank. He had thoroughly taught me the processes I had to go through so I saw it as no big deal. On my way to the Bank, the idiot in me began to reveal itself. Telling me I could withdraw more so I'd buy my girlfriend a befitting birthday gift. The tug of war between my heart and my brain continued for a while but my heart won eventually. Stupid heart.
I got to the bank and made a withdrawal of 12K as opposed to the initial 10K. I did that thinking my Dad wouldn't know... Not even realizing that he'd be sent a debit alert text message. So with the thought in my mind that I had won. I journeyed home cheerfully. On getting home, my Dad was already waiting for me with an explanation for the additional 2,000 naira that was debited. So I gave him a lie that I didn't know o... That maybe it was a mistake from the bank. Of course he wasn't having any of that. He promised to go to the bank the following day for clarity sake but then kicked against it and said he'd go immediately. I tried my best to make him see reasons not to go. But NOOO! I feigned sickness but he gave me the terrifying stare and almost immediately I got healed.

So we got to the bank and he asked me to point directly to the bank attendant that I made the withdrawal through. I did and we began to walk towards her. With every step that we took, I was equally just a step closer to my grave. I don't know how many times I prayed in my mind that the lord should help me see that day through. Finally, we were standing in her very before. And just as we got there, the bank attendant said, "You! You just left here not too long ago o. Is anything wrong?" And that was when I know that nothing can save me fa.

My father narrated everything to her and then she proceeded to bring out the withdrawal slips that had been filled for the day. As many as they are, my Dad sat somewhere not minding the piercing stares of the other people, he took his time and checked every one of the slip until he finally discovered my own. And there it was seen that I intentionally withdrew and additional 2K. He just packed everything up and returned it back. Told me to wait here and he'd be back soon. I swear he said it so casually that you'd think nothing was going to happen. He left and came back with a slender looking cane. I could swear that I saw my world turning black. My father flogged me from inside the the banking hall and then into the streets. I ran but he chased me. I remember how I thought I hard escaped him only to run into some guys who grabbed me and called him that I was with them. He came there and gave me the beating of my life. And then left for home. He got home and was still waiting for me. Immediately I got home, he flogged me so much that I would later break up with the girlfriend on the next day of school.
That I'm actually alive today to tell the story is beyond me. A miracle indeed. I swear even my children's children will hear this story. Nonsense and young love!